Originally this was published for the referee community. After bouncing it around with a few of my colleagues I figured it was time to share this with all. Remember be kind to your referees. They are likely giving up family time to make sure you have a game.
Can you name US Soccer’s 6 tasks of a coach?
My new line when I choose to issue a caution for disent instead of trying to explain calls made during the course of a game. I didn’t get my referee license out of a cracker jack box and I expect licensed coaches to know the 6 tasks and be the leader that a licensed coach should abide by.
Do any of those tasks mention that you should always question a referees decision? Sometimes ask a referee for an explanation? Request that a 3rd official explain a call? Based on the 6 Tasks of a coach any of the above can and should be treated as disent. The mentor and coach in me realizes what implications these questions have on referee development and retention.
Why would you expect me to handle a situation any differently than I would coach a 16 yr old referee to do during a game? Maybe if all adult referees answered questions as a 16 yr old referee US Soccer and the PIAA would have more new referees make it to their 15th year. I had a great conversation with two young ladies this weekend. One is only 16 and is afraid to center or be referee one in futsal—that’s the coaches side for you non-referees—the other is just turning 21 and both of them repeated the same message —they can’t stand the coaches and the way they challenge everything.
I was more tolerant this past weekend than I normally would be since the games were “IMPORTANT” and for a chance to go onto regional tournament. In reflecting back on this weekend however I realized by taking the explain and guide approach I wasn’t helping the problem these younger refs have. I need to go back to my WisRef days where there was zero tolerance for questioning calls. Zero tolerance for any visible or verbal dissent. A post game review and score of sportsmanship for coaches, parents and players as part of the tournament tiebreaker proceedings. I need to forget about the days where we warned coaches and didn’t have yellow and red cards in our referee tool-belt. The stakes in this pay-to-play coaching world means the professionals should be exactly that—professional.
They should provide the leadership that their paying customers hire them for when their kids join their club. They should lead not only the team on the field during the game but in practice and in making each athlete a better human who understands sportsmanship. They should encourage their parents to sign a code of conduct that stress sportsmanship and player development over wins and losses. Parents should learn to expect this from any coach.
The referee problem is a result of the pay-to-play model and the clubs that won’t pay for referee development or platforms that would encourage a better understanding of the laws of the game and a grasp of the spirit of the game. If everybody understood the spirit of the game we could protect these young referees from the coaches and parents who don’t understand leadership, sportsmanship, gamesmanship and downright disrespect for the game.
FCArmstrong 
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